Introduction

You have my sympathies is if you are reading this as a way of dealing with your own cheating whore of a spouse. . .I mean former partner. And if you have kids and are struggling with how to discuss the feelings of betrayal, pain, sorrow, homicide, suicide, jealous, loneliness and all of the savory feelings that come with being cheated on. . .I will share with you the events of my past. . . and just maybe laughing about it will bring you around. I was married for 20 years, have 6 kids with this guy, and he decided a few years ago to begin looking online for sex and "someone special" on the internet. . .and apparently found one. . .

So, you have discovered your spouse is a cheating whore, male or female, AND that the sex has not been "safe". . .which is weird, since your 5th grader is already familiar with HIV and your 15 year old has this life lesson drummed into his head all the time. . .but yes, your CWOAS* has not only cheated on you. . .but has endangered your life. . .What do you do?

The following is how I handled that particular situation. Enjoy.

CWOAS- Yes, I have been unfaithful to you. . .sniff, tear drop. . .and I have feelings for someone else . . .
Me- Hysterical sobbing and other traumatic details.
Me- Struggling to talk. . .but how. . .where. . .?

CWOAS- I have created an online persona, with an assumed name, and a fake age. . .with naked pictures of me taken in our bathroom with my cell phone. . .and posted that I was looking for someone special. . .when I was telling you I was working. . .I was actually doing something else. . .
Me- More of the same sobbing things

CWOAS- I know you are hurting. . .

Me- Not too far gone to NOT be annoyed by this comment

Me- What happened?

CWOAS- I have been forming relationships online, and found people in the area. . .2 exactly. . .and younger. . .
Me- Sob

CWOAS- And I met them- slept with them, one in a furnished storage locker, the other in a hotel. . .

Me- Did you practice safe sex?

CWOAS- They said they were fine without a condom. Is that bad???

Me- Ummmmm WTF? What about pregnancy? AIDS? STIs?

CWOAS- I'll get tested, I am sure it is safe. . .

Me- YOU ARE SURE IT IS SAFE? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SURE IT IS SAFE?

CWOAS- See, this is why I wandered, you make everything into a big deal that "hurts" you (makes hand quote markes)

Me- Makes different hand gesture in same air

And so it begins. . .and ends

*Cheating whore of a spouse

So- he cheated, with many, and had unprotected sex with women who met men on the internet. . .a LOT of them. . .so you go and find out if you are ok. . .stressed out. . .you imagine being honest with the kids

Kids- Mommy, why are you crying?

Me- Oh I am just tired. [ . .of your whore of a sperm donor. . .and I am waiting to find out if he gave me HIV. . .]**

Kids- Are you going to be ok?

Me- Yes, no matter what, we will all be ok?

Kids- Why did Daddy leave?

Me- He fell out of love with mommy [ and he is a cheating whore who is determined to avoid the hard choices and hard work of a family, and is willing to throw away 20 years of his life for the possibility of better sex with an emotional train wreck who lives in Kentucky. . .who he has never met, but believes he is in love with. . .]

Kids- Does he still love us?

Me- Yes [but, he doesn't see the fact that he destroyed our family as hurting you or leaving you. He believes that his happiness is more important than anything, and that no matter what. . .he has to be happy first, and all others must find a way to be happy around his needs. . .]

Kids- oh, that's good. . .

Me- Yes

** what I would have said if the kids were older. . .